what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
