would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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