MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
