Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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