Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How does one acquire holy water?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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