don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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