Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
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