See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
