I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
