I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
