At least make sure they are 18
Why
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
