i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
