Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
