Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
