we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
