I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
