she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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