I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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