I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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