i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
