And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
