I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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