I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
