Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You were trust falling into bushes
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
