Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
