Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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