i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
