I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
