elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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