If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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