Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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