Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
