Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i've created a new STD.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize