I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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