Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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