that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
