You can't motorboat a personality
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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