he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize