Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize