Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
