that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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