Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
