Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
