well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
