I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
