Got a toothbrush?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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