He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A+ Viking dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
