there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish i was in the wii world.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
