don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
