She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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