today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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