i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
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I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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