My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
A bitchslap is in order.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
