How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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