he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Someone shit on the floor
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
