people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
