bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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