Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
