I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
