hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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