No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize