Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am available for nakedness
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
