I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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