Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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