i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
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It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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