You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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