I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
