No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
