Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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