I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
